Crazy 300Santa Claus has declassified the following information on the Christmas Rights for American Zealots of Yahweh – CRAZY from the secret files of NOEL. We have been contacted by Agents of CRAZY expressing concerns that widespread publication of this document will be detrimental to their War efforts.

We agree with them. You are therefore encouraged to actively share and distribute this information.

Demographics of CRAZY

CRAZY is mainly composed of white people: old white people, rich white people, and mentally unbalanced evangelical ‘christian’ white people. This group is primarily based in the southern States of America.

CRAZY Leadership

NOEL has identified the following people as leaders in their War On Christmas. Due to the chaotic nature of their organization, it is hard to pinpoint the current or future specific roles they may play in furthering their CRAZY Agenda.

Sarah Palin

Rafael “Ted” Cruz

Rand Paul

John Boehner

Bill O’Reilly

 

The CRAZY Agenda

They seek to protect Christmas from an imaginary assault by the non-existent ‘Liberal Homosexual Atheistic Agenda’. Their goal is to protect inanimate holiday decorations and the right to say “Merry Christmas”, at all costs. They believe that denying rights, food, education and shelter to the poor will somehow eliminate the  problems of hunger, homelessness and poverty.

 

The CRAZY Platform

Based on intelligence reports, we have identified the following partial list of elements of the CRAZY belief system.

 

CRAZY SUPPORTS:

  • Christmas Decorations

  • Freedom (As long as you share their beliefs)

  • God

  • Theocracy

  • The Wealthy

  • Torture

  • War (On anything or anyone)

  • White People

CRAZY OPPOSES

  • Women

  • Children

  • The Poor

  • LGBT People

  • Regulating Capitalism

  • Government

  • Reason

  • Non-Christians

  • Non-White People

 

This list is not to be considered exhaustive. There are plenty of websites dedicated to these issues, so we have chosen not to provide footnotes or links. The validity of the information provided can be easily verified by visiting  this website .