Elfidential Address tagged posts

Santa Claus December 19 Elfidential Address To The North Pole

Category: News From The FrontNorth Pole NewsNorth Pole PoliticsUncategorized Comments: No comments

Santa Claus Seal

Greetings my fellow Elves.

I come before you tonight, because my policy, and by extension, that of my Administration has always been one of openness and full disclosure.I am happy to report that Elfwood Snowflake has returned to the North Pole. He surrendered himself to me, personally, early this morning.

In an earlier statement, Secretary Frost announced that he believed that Snowflake had fled t...

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Santa Claus November 18 Elfidential Address To The North Pole

Category: North Pole NewsNorth Pole Politics Comments: No comments

Claus Wars Logo Final Main No Stars 195

Good evening, my fellow Elves.

I am proud of the success that we have achieved in converting the North Pole to renewable sources of Green and Red energy. Thanks to your efforts, we are no longer dependent on foreign sources of snow and ice. However, we are still dependent on hostile nations to maintain our ever-increasing need for coal.

That ends today.

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Ebeneezer Scrooge Confirms There’ll Be No Coal For Christmas This Year

Category: North Pole NewsNorth Pole Politics Comments: No comments

North Pole Secretary of the Treasury Ebeneezer Scrooge was caught off guard by a reporter as he was leaving ¬†Scrooge & Marley’s late Friday. When asked if there was any truth to the rumors that Santa Claus was considering a major policy shift in The North Pole’s long-standing Stocking Coal Distribution Program for the Naughty, he reportedly replied “Get Out of my way!”

When pressed further, Scroo...

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