North Pole Politics tagged posts

Santa Claus December 19 Elfidential Address To The North Pole

Category: News From The FrontNorth Pole NewsNorth Pole PoliticsUncategorized Comments: No comments

Santa Claus Seal

Greetings my fellow Elves.

I come before you tonight, because my policy, and by extension, that of my Administration has always been one of openness and full disclosure.I am happy to report that Elfwood Snowflake has returned to the North Pole. He surrendered himself to me, personally, early this morning.

In an earlier statement, Secretary Frost announced that he believed that Snowflake had fled t...

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NPSA Elfwood Snowflake Breach Confirmed By Jack Frost

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North Pole Dept of Defense Seal

Greetings Fellow North Poleans,

At 0900 on Sunday, we discovered a serious breach of North Pole Security at the NPSA while performing routine maintenance on Santa Claus’ Naughty and Nice database. We can confirm at this time that all Naughty and Nice files were copied...

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Mr Grinch – The Horror Of Whoville

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Grinch Max

It’s a well known fact around the North Pole that I do not enjoy adding names to my Naughty List. I never have, and I never will. I’ve become ever more forgiving and lenient because, frankly, I believe that most children are inherently Nice. It is far easier to just label a child “Naughty”, than it is to address the issues behind their bad behavior. But not you.

The Horror Of Whoville

In my many c...

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Grinch Factor Declares “Claus Is The Cause”

Category: Festive News NetworkNorth Pole NewsNorth Pole Politics Comments: No comments

Grinch Ponder

Well, folks, this is it. The end of Christmas as we know it has finally come.

Many are blaming the anti-Christmas domestic terrorist group SANITY (that’s right, I said it, terrorists!), and the softening of our North Pole morals by passing laws like GREAT, the Gay Reindeer and Elf Alliance Treaty. Once enacted last year, it allowed gay and lesbian reindeer and elves to join NOEL  — for waging...

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Santa Claus Suspends Checking Of Lists

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In an Elfidential Address from the Ornamental Office, Santa Claus made the shocking pronouncement that he is indefinitely suspending the Checking of Lists.  This unexpected move has sent shock waves all through the North Pole.

Press Secretary Frosty T. Snowman, speaking on behalf of The Workshop, sought to reassure the Elves of  the North Pole early Tuesday morning:

“Santa understands the fear and frustration that this decision has caused, and he did not make it lightly. He als...

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