War On Christmas tagged posts

Top 10 Worst Christmas Gifts Ever Received

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Top 10 Worst Christmas Gifts Ever Received

Greetings Boys and Girls!

Every year, millions of boys and girls around the world receive truly awful presents. I receive stacks of complaint letters every year from boys and girls who believe these “gifts” came from my Workshop. I assure you, they do not!

I sorted through last years letters to bring you Santa’s Top 10 Worst Christmas Gifts Ever  Received.

In my role as Father Christmas, this l...

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Santa Claus December 19 Elfidential Address To The North Pole

Category: News From The FrontNorth Pole NewsNorth Pole PoliticsUncategorized Comments: No comments

Santa Claus Seal

Greetings my fellow Elves.

I come before you tonight, because my policy, and by extension, that of my Administration has always been one of openness and full disclosure.I am happy to report that Elfwood Snowflake has returned to the North Pole. He surrendered himself to me, personally, early this morning.

In an earlier statement, Secretary Frost announced that he believed that Snowflake had fled t...

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Elfwood Snowflake Debacle Exposes Real Santa Claus

Category: Festive News NetworkNews From The FrontNorth Pole NewsNorth Pole Politics Comments: No comments

Grinch Ponder

I see Santa has taken notice of my Claus is the Cause editorial and added me to his “Naughty List.” While I will address this very soon, I think a more pressing matter should be discussed first. Read further, friends, for the real story on the unfolding NPSA scandal, and look forward to my direct response to Santa regarding Claus is the Cause. 

Here it is, folks...

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NPSA Elfwood Snowflake Breach Confirmed By Jack Frost

Category: News From The FrontNorth Pole NewsNorth Pole Politics Comments: No comments

North Pole Dept of Defense Seal

Greetings Fellow North Poleans,

At 0900 on Sunday, we discovered a serious breach of North Pole Security at the NPSA while performing routine maintenance on Santa Claus’ Naughty and Nice database. We can confirm at this time that all Naughty and Nice files were copied...

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Elfwood Snowflake Breaches NPSA Security

Category: North Pole NewsNorth Pole Politics Comments: No comments

Elfwood SnowFlake

NORTH POLE (TDJ) — We have just received word from a high-ranking unnamed source at the North Pole Security Agency.

Shortly after 9 am this morning, a massive breach of North Pole Security was discovered. The perpetrator has been identified as Elfwood Snowflake. Snowflake was employed by  Booze And Humbug, a private firm under contract with the NPSA .

There seems to be a complete shutdown of com...

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