Blog Archives

It’s a well known fact around the North Pole that I do not enjoy adding names to my Naughty List. I never have, and I never will. I’ve become ever more forgiving and lenient because, frankly, I believe that most children are inherently Nice. It is far easier to just label a child “Naughty”, than it is to address the issues behind their bad behavior. But not you.

The Horror Of Whoville

In my many c...

Greetings Boys and Girls, There are many wonderful Christmas movies on Santa’s annual Holiday must-see list. I would not be being honest with you if I didn’t tell you that I am the star of most of them. Vanity is one of Santa’s flaws, I’m afraid. Unfortunately, Hollywood produces more garbage than gems these days, so you have to sort through a lot of coal to find the real Christmas Movie diamonds...

Good evening my fellow Elves,

I just received word that one of my favorite puppies and bravest NOEL commanders has fallen. It is with a heavy heart and great sadness that I must report to you that Brian Griffin passed away this evening, following a traffic accident.

Good evening, my fellow Elves.

I am proud of the success that we have achieved in converting the North Pole to renewable sources of Green and Red energy. Thanks to your efforts, we are no longer dependent on foreign sources of snow and ice. However, we are still dependent on hostile nations to maintain our ever-increasing need for coal.

That ends today.

Welcome to the Claus Wars!

I am glad that you are here! I hope we’ll have a lot of fun together poking fun at the ‘War on Christmas’.  More importantly, I hope that if you find my writing and website entertaining, that you will consider donating to a worthy charity of your choice this year.

Those of us who r...