Category North Pole Politics

Well, folks, this is it. The end of Christmas as we know it has finally come.

Good Evening.

We are pleased to report that Colonel Rudolph is recovering following an emergency transfusion of Christmas Magic at Tim Cratchit Memorial Hospital.  Once he has been fully debriefed, we will allow to share any non-classified details with you at the earliest opportunity.

We can now confirm that the incident that occurred on Tuesday, November 26, 2013 involving Colonel Rudolph was no...

In an Elfidential Address from the Ornamental Office, Santa Claus made the shocking pronouncement that he is indefinitely suspending the Checking of Lists.  This unexpected move has sent shock waves all through the North Pole.

Press Secretary Frosty T. Snowman, speaking on behalf of The Workshop, sought to reassure the Elves of  the North Pole early Tuesday morning:

“Santa understands the fear and frustration that this decision has caused, and he did not make it lightly. He als...

Good evening, my fellow Elves.

I am proud of the success that we have achieved in converting the North Pole to renewable sources of Green and Red energy. Thanks to your efforts, we are no longer dependent on foreign sources of snow and ice. However, we are still dependent on hostile nations to maintain our ever-increasing need for coal.

That ends today.

North Pole Secretary of the Treasury Ebeneezer Scrooge was caught off guard by a reporter as he was leaving  Scrooge & Marley’s late Friday. When asked if there was any truth to the rumors that Santa Claus was considering a major policy shift in The North Pole’s long-standing Stocking Coal Distribution Program for the Naughty, he reportedly replied “Get Out of my way!”

When pressed further, Scroo...