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Good Evening.
At 0700 on Tuesday, while on a routine patrol and intelligence gathering mission over the United States we lost contact with Colonel Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer and his security detail from the 1701st Airborne. We believe they are currently being held hostage by CRAZY agents in the Southern United States.
At Colonel Comet’s request, I have temporarily re-assigned him to the post of Commander of the 1225th Elfantry in Rudolph’s absence.
He is a capable NOEL Officer and he has served alongside Rudolph for most of their distinguished careers. He knows how Rudolph thinks and acts, so he is the best reindeer for the job.
I assure you, all efforts are being made to rescue Colonel Rudolph and his team. A military rescue operation, code-named Reindeer Down is underway. As per NPDOD Policy and for the safety of Colonel Rudolph and his team, I am unable to discuss details of ongoing actions.
While searching the crash site, we recovered the body of Corporal Randy The Red Shirt Reindeer. Corporal Randy was a dedicated soldier in the War On Christmas assigned to the 1701st Airborne. The North Pole owes a debt of gratitude to Randy and the other NOEL soldiers who have paid the ultimate price to secure our freedom.
- NPSA Elfwood Snowflake Breach Confirmed By Jack Frost - December 16, 2013
- Defense Secretary Frost Releases Rudolph Update - December 3, 2013
- Operation Reindeer Down Statement by Secretary Frost - November 30, 2013
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