North Pole News tagged posts

NORTH POLE (TDP) – In a Friday morning briefing, Workshop Press Secretary Frosty T. Snowman announced that they have lost contact with Colonel Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer and members of his NOEL 1701st Brigade security escort team.

“Early Tuesday evening, Colonel Rudolph and his team was flying a routine pre-Christmas intelligence gathering mission. Due to poor visibility and unusually powerful tailwinds caused by a massive Winter storm, Rudolph nearly collided with a Boeing 747 Passenger jet on route from Dallas, TX to Miami, Fl.”

Snowman  continue...

The official start date and cause of the War On Christmas has been hotly debated for many years. Some believe it was  manufactured by Emperor Murdoch and his Faux News Empire, led by CRAZY Darth O’Reilly. Darth O’Reilly believes it was the Pro-Choice and the LGBT Rights movement.

Thanks to th...

In an Elfidential Address from the Ornamental Office, Santa Claus made the shocking pronouncement that he is indefinitely suspending the Checking of Lists.  This unexpected move has sent shock waves all through the North Pole.

Press Secretary Frosty T. Snowman, speaking on behalf of The Workshop, sought to reassure the Elves of  the North Pole early Tuesday morning:

“Santa understands the fear and frustration that this decision has caused, and he did not make it lightly. He als...

Good evening, my fellow Elves.

I am proud of the success that we have achieved in converting the North Pole to renewable sources of Green and Red energy. Thanks to your efforts, we are no longer dependent on foreign sources of snow and ice. However, we are still dependent on hostile nations to maintain our ever-increasing need for coal.

That ends today.