North Pole News tagged posts

NORTH POLE (TDJ) — We have just received word from a high-ranking unnamed source at the North Pole Security Agency.

Shortly after 9 am this morning, a massive breach of North Pole Security was discovered. The perpetrator has been identified as Elfwood Snowflake. Snowflake was employed by  Booze And Humbug, a private firm under contract with the NPSA .

There seems to be a complete shutdown of com...

There seems to be a new nontroversy brewing about the color of my skin. I must respectfully disagree with an article written by Aisha Harris of Slate Magazine. I am not now, nor will I ever be a Penguin.

I am a kindly, portly, elderly human being, usually male (but open-minded to change), who is very real, yet still quite imaginary.

It also goes without saying, that I also disagree with Megyn Ke...

It’s a well known fact around the North Pole that I do not enjoy adding names to my Naughty List. I never have, and I never will. I’ve become ever more forgiving and lenient because, frankly, I believe that most children are inherently Nice. It is far easier to just label a child “Naughty”, than it is to address the issues behind their bad behavior. But not you.

The Horror Of Whoville

In my many c...

NORTH POLE (TDJ) Today I bring you the conclusion of my interview with Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer. In case you missed the first part, you may read it here.

Rudolph Interview Conclusion

When we last spoke, you indicated that “somehow they knew you were there”. What makes you think that?

As I said, only true believers can actually see us, and we all know that CRAZY doesn’t believe in anything th...

Well, folks, this is it. The end of Christmas as we know it has finally come.