Sarah Palin Basted In Blood In Failed Turkey Pardon

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Remember Thanksgiving of 2008? The United States was recovering from a brutal Presidential election campaign of the first African-American candidate Sen. Barack Obama and Sen. John McCain.

John McCain didn’t just lose the election, he unleashed a ‘Mama Grizzly’ on the nation. He decided that he need to choose a woman for his Vice Presidential running mate to try to counter the historic nature of Barack Obama’s campaign.

Unfortunately for America, he chose Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. She wasn’t such a great choice for McCain, either. Her infamous interviews exposed how unprepared she was for any sort of leadership role.  She took every opportunity to upstage McCain and ‘go rogue’.

Palin Turkey PardonThat Thanksgiving, most people were celebrating the historic election of America’s first African-American President. Apparently, nobody informed eternally confused CRAZY General Sarah Palin that she wasn’t the Presidential candidate. Or that her campaign lost by the largest popular vote margin since 1984.

The ‘pardoning’ of Thanksgiving turkeys is traditionally undertaken by the current President of the United States. Never one to allow facts or reality to get in her way, half-term Governor of Alaska Sarah Barracuda visited a local Wassila slaughterhouse to pardon her own turkey.

Unfortunately, nobody thought to send the merchants of death all around her on a lunch break before she performed her little turkey pardon stunt.

(Please view video with caution. It is disturbing and graphic.)

Haters can keep hating, but at least she tried, right?

While we’re on the subject of foul CRAZY Vice Presidential candidates and the slaughter of fowl, remember when Dick Cheney went friend hunting with his ducks? At least he actually won the Vice Presidential election. Once.

Nobody knows why CRAZY people seem to hate birds. If you ever see the two of them together, you’d better run away. Quickly.


Editor In Chief at The Daily Jingle
Hermey the Elf, DMD earned his degree in Dental Medicine in 1967 from the North Pole School of Dental Medicine. As the War on Christmas dragged on, he discovered a new passion for Investigative Reporting. In 1987, he founded The Daily Jingle.He still serves as Santa's Chef Executive Dentist.

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